[LynNie-fication]

Sunday, July 29, 2007

.|.Muse.|.

Date: 29th July 2007

"I thought i was a fool for no one,
But oh baby, i'm a fool for you..."

~ Supermassive back hole, Muse

-

*repeatedly smacks head against brick wall*

Fool of a Yeang,
~Lyn.

9:22 AM Z

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

.|.Everything.|.

Date: 25th July 2007
Music: Outside looking in, Jordan Pruitt
Mood: ...

I'm not unhappy, don't get me wrong. Ask Winnie [am sms-ing her at the moment], i'm as crappy and exasperatingly random as usual. I'm just tired. Worn out and stressed, absolutely tired with studying. If you know me the slightest bit, you'd be able to tell anyone that i'm no model student. I don't have fixed timetables or anything, but study different subjects, depending on my mood. And i hate hate hate hate hate hate *repents* dislike very much Physics!!! Graaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moving on... Like what Jit Yang often says when we discuss our college choices, ambitions, scholarships, and so on in class..

"I don't like talking about my future.. It's so... unknown... Scary..."

Personally, i'm scared. I know what i want to do. But is it what Daddy wants me to do? I'd love to study someplace, but can i get in? Can my family afford it? Can i even live up to the standards set? Can i, could i, would i, should i.....? Too many questions, too few answers.

This week and the last, it's been all about careers, the school having motivation and career talks for us. I feel more pressured than i was last year, probably because of the foreboding clouds cast by the enormous phenomena that is SPM. It's not nice feeling at all. I'd like to be comforted that hey, at least i have a family that supports me, friends who if they do not share the same feelings of being lost and can relate to me, there are those who tell me that i'm being silly and all that nice and reassuring stuff. Once again, i emphasize the importance of my friends and remind myself to at least show the appreciation and gratitude due.

That cow Alwin Loo still blames me for what happened with Sir. Sorry, a random thing, but yeah!! Just because Sir was standing behind him when i whacked him because he pulled my hair. Childish-ness will be repaid with childish-ness.

Fine, i admit.

I don't want to grow up. It's a terrifying place out there. I know i have Daddy who can easily smite or send a dozen lightning bolts to anything / anyone that bullies me, but still...It doesn't unknot that inedible pretzel in my stomach, nor does it release any of those butterflies that are trapped in my stomach, even if i would never, in a right state of mind, attempt to swallow those beautiful insects.

Jit Yang was singing this song in class, with Ka Hui taking care of the acoustics, strumming away on the guitar. While the sheer beauty and pleasant-ness made Ming fall in love with Yang (xD), it made me feel a whole lot happier and relaxed.

Enjoy.

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Everything, Michael Buble]

Smile, lah you!!
~ Lyn.

9:07 AM Z

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Monday, July 16, 2007

.|.Not a morning person....|.

Done by happy people with loads of time.. xD

Date: 16th July 2007
Music: Enough, Jeremy Camp
Mood / status: Tired, but smiling

I know and fully believe in the fact that God takes notice of the little-est things in our lives, even down to how we, [or rather, I] feel at 5am in the morning, especially Monday mornings. He knows and cares that these mornings for me are so crappy.

Was reminded of this this morning.

Though rain always makes me happy, especially the rainbows that appears afterwards, having rain this morning would mean no PE for me. So Daddy knew He couldn't send me the gorgeous sound of rain falling and hitting the roof this morning. However, i felt my Monday Blues slip away as i looked up and admired the twilight sky. Painted in hues of purple, red, and pink, i believe that it's just Daddy's way of saying "Smile, lah!!!"

=],
~Lyn.

6:38 AM Z

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Sunday, July 15, 2007

.|.Can i button my lips..?.|.

"Can i button my lips to the truth won't slip?"
[Natasha Bedingfield]

Date: 15th July 2007
Music: 'til i see you, Hillsong
Mood / status: Detached.

I was in the car with Grace and Meng Hong yesterday. We were on the topic of names, starting with what in the world the word 'nylus' in my e-mail address means. For the benefit of all of you who haven't figured it out yet, or i haven't told you, i shall reveal the meaning behind the mysterious alias. The one many cracked their skulls open trying to figure out. The one people had countless sleepless nights trying to figure out what it mean. The one the mathematician couldn't get. The one... Okay, i'll stop exaggerating.

... nylus is my name spelt backwards.

Yes, go and smack your foreheads now. xD

Then MH asked what the 'nuance' in my blog address meant. No, 'nuancelyn' does not mean 'naughtylyn'. I'm a very very good girl who likes funky words. Especially those that i create. Seriously, i should make a modified version of English and name it after me. Anyway, back to the English language we all speak...

Nuance:
- Delicate difference in or shade of meaning, feeling, opinion, colour, etc.
[The concise Oxford Dictionary]

-A very slight difference in meaning, sound, colour, or somebody's feelings that are not usually very obvious.
[Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary]

That is what nuance means. I didn't make up the word. Why do i use the word? You see, despite my love for words and language, i tend to say the wrong things or in a way that makes people misunderstand me. In BM, we term it 'salah faham'. I reckon that's why i termed my blog 'nuancelyn', because 'the mis-speakings-and-salah-fahams-of-lyn' is way too long. xD ...

Was thinking about it, then i realised that at times, i'm grateful that it takes at least 5 minutes for my computer to be fully started up and able to be used. Imagine all the things that i would regret putting up on my blog if Blogger could be 'publishing at your fingertips' [literally] accessible. Imagine that one day i was super mad or disappointed in someone, and then just snapped my fingers to open my Blogger Dashboard [wowie], then blah'ed on and on about how terrible things have been, how i [at the moment] hate/ greatly dislike the person. And knowing me, when i'm at it, i tend to ramble. Then all the horrible things suddenly come out about the person.

Suppose that when i simmer down, [the post would've already been published long long ago], i'd feel like such a fool to have written all that out of rage / grief/ whatever.

Remembered how we learned in School of the Bible how the tongue can be a healing blam, or pure poison. Read up on James chapter 3, if you like. =]

Smyles.
~Lyn.

12:55 AM Z

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

.|.Smyle.|.

~ by X_Horizon.

Date: 8th July 2007
Mood: =]
Music: *refer to below.

Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother,
But i think the heart of me ,
Is really somewhere between them,
Some days i'm running wild,
Some days we're reconciled,
But i wonder all the time,
Why You put up with me, when...

I wrestle most days,
To find ways to do as i please...

I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
My longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will

I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime

I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to you

I'm gonna keep trusting You
I see what You've seen me through
I'm goin' where You have gone (yeah)
I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me ever)
Here's my heart
I'll always love You, love You (yeah)

...Oh, You always have, You always will

[Always have, always will - Avalon]

~ For those who, as silly as me, sometimes feel that God can grow tired of us making so many mistakes, wonder how someone so perfect can love imperfection personified. Worrying that one day, He will abandon us, not wanting to love us anymore.

Never underestimate the depth and "never-ending"- ness of His perfet love.

=],
~Lyn.

8:40 AM Z

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Monday, July 02, 2007

.|.Perception.|.

~ And we're all perfect in our imperfections.

Date: 2nd July 2007
Music: She's so high above me, Fastball
Mood: I feel like writing.

"To someone you may be just some other person on the street,

but to someone else, you may be the world."

Perception. In class today, we were told that we are having our class picture taken tomorrow. Then suddenly, Ming was asking everyone and anyone if they thought he was handsome. Of course, him asking the jokers of the class, as in, the doodes sitting behind him, was laugh-worthy. But when he asked me, i took a good look at him and pondered for a while, trying to phrase what i wanted to say, so that it wouldn't make him take it as an insult.

Told him that if you were to cover half of his face (nose, down), he would look like some breath-taking, swoon worthy, strong, but silent type. This is because i think that Ming has a serious set of eyes, kinda the type that say "I am intelligent, deal with it.". Also, as i've told him about a thousand times, he has very very very nice eyebrows!!!! (Yes, i'm a sucker for eyebrows.). So therefore, if you were to look at just the top part of his face, he could simply give a look and make dozens of girls faint.

However, when you put the mouth back in, it's totally different. Like a composition or a painting that suddenly has that element of contrast, of excitement, of spice, of flavour. It sort of ruins the initial idea of what the picture would turn out to be, but then again, it looks nice in it's own way.

Told Ming that as soon as he uncovered the lower part of his face, everything else that's on his face is just a blur, because all attention will be on his perpetually talking, noise making, laugh-inducing, smile- making, flow of dialouge. It was in no way an insult, by the way. In my opinion, Ming is defined by his dialouge, so his mouth, the thing that ruined his chances in competing in the Mr. Universe competition, (ok fine, it's not THAT bad la.) naturally, would be the thing most of us can relate to about him. All the noise, the high-pitched laughter, the singing that makes me miss out on what the BM teacher is talking about, all the chatter that makes our teachers spin around and demand quiet, the jokes, the lamentations, the whining, the gushing, the Chemistry teaching, the cha-ing, the big and bright smile that always seem to make his eyes grow smaller, the large grin that seems to take over his entire face, the voice itself. Those define the Yong Ming that i know.

So, in a way, i couldn't tell Ming that he was drop-dead gorgeous, but only good looking. However, that's exactly the way i (and i'm sure many others too) like him to be.

In the same way, i realised, many of us tend to judge people simply by the flaws we see in them. So much so that we are blinded by the overflowing goodness and beauty the person possesses. And i believe, that like how we cannot judge a book by its cover, only until we are caught up between the pages of it, we shouldn't, judge or categorise people, based merely on the little things we know about them, or what we hear from others, but give them the benefit of the doubt, a chance to ourselves, to get to know them better, before anything else. And that is why, i believe, the opinions of our friends are more often than not, the only ones that we should think about, because they know who and what we are, and so deserve to speak up about us. Like how only a psychiatrist can give a talk on psychology.

And once again, i am reminded of how we are all perfect in our imperfections, it just takes the right people, including ourselves, to be able to separate the diamonds from the rough, and then fully appreciate it.

=]

Hugs,
~Lyn.

7:31 AM Z

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