Friday, June 30, 2006
.|...:: How to make Su-lyn angry ::...|.
Date: 30th June 2006
Music: Football Mad Nation, PopShuvit and Disagree
Mood: Hyper
Heyhey, i'm back. Alrighty.. Was at Physics tuition last night, and Ming Han wore this SHOCKING pink shirt!! My goodness, if my eyeballs could've popped out of their sockets, they would've. However, my eyeballs are perfectly secured, thank you very much. Goodness.. Alright, then Ming Han and Winston came up with this list sometime during the last hour or so of tuition.. Enjoy the "siao-ness"...
Blue= Su-lyn
Pink=Ming Han (a tribute to his pink shirt)
Orange= Winston
How to make Su-lyn angry
1. Wear pink. Shocking pink.
2. Call her smart
3. Take her spectacles
4. Argue with her that black is better than white (which is so true)
5. Say that purple is ugly
6. Call her a nutcase
7. Make a 'list' on how to make Su-lyn angry
8. Frame her
9. Poke her
10. Mess her hair
11. Make stupid lists like this. (really good one, *applauds*)
12. Steal her 'purple' pen. (Church pen works too) (her church pen is blue)
13. Prove her wrong that my pencil box does have a stapler and red pen
14. Say that we do not vandalise
15. Block her by sitting straight up and obstructing her view (sorry ming han, stole yours)
16. Call her ugly
17. Claim total untruths just to irritate her.. (Fyi, i DO like black better than white)..
18. State that her so called total untruths were actually the truths that she denies.
19. Say that she's in a state of denial.
20. Laugh at her illness (ok, sounds mean, but it makes her angry XP)
21. (it is mean, I mean, she's always sick, so we keep laughing at her)
22. Use past statements used by her against her
23. Try to make her confused by making claims like (arrow points upto #22)
24. Making her even more confused by making claims of not making claims by making claims of not making claims that we use past statements against her. (as stated in #26, corrections done by Lyn in Blue)
25. Pink > Su-lyn , Pink > Purple
26. By making statements that are repatitive and grammatically wrong, just to irritate her
27. Denying the fact that purple is an incredibly sexy coulour while pink is overly used. Drama.
28. Using tactic #2 and then show the startled expression of how she understood tactic #24
29. Think that she wouldn't be able to gloat at her own brilliance.
-- End--
Lolz.. that's when class ended. Evie read this and agrees that purple is an INCREDIBLY sexy colour!! Hahahaha. Anywayz, today the librarians had their AGM (Annual General Meeting) and i must say, that the outgoing B.O.D members have a slightly distorted perception of people. Not only did they bnag us on giving "popularity votes", but they simply went and chose incompetent and unsuitable people for the posts. Goodness. And they didn't allow us to nominate people from the floor. (Except under certain circumstances) Will not comment any further, but i'm just glad that Huey-ee got the asst. discipline director, with Yong Ming as her boss. Because seriously, the last D.Director sucked. Can't remember who, but all i know is that he/she seriously slacked to the point that senior librarians even skipped librarian duty. (alright i admit it, i did too).. Aiihz.. Just hope i can work with the new board la, yeah.. was appointed asst. secretary (don't even know why) but i'm also glad that Congning is my boss. And congrats to Esther for getting the president post.
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Date: 8th June 2006
Time: 10-2 pm
Venue: Dewan Berjaya, SMKTS
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Yupyup..
That's all, i guess.. Oh, and i'll be posting up a few funny pieces that i wrote during for English class. Seriously, Pn. Doreen rocks!! Take care my darlings!
Hugs and smiles,
~LynNie.
12:29 AM Z
Monday, June 26, 2006
.|...:: Not me ::...|.
Date : 26th June 2006
Mood: Melanchonly
Music: -I'll remember, Madonna
-Apologise, Republic
Today was an alright day, i guess.. Was in school, coughing my lungs out. The funny thing about my cough is that i'm fine most of the time. But when i start having this itch in my throat, i can't seem to stop caoughing. So it would seem that i'm choking to death la. During the last few periods (4C was in our Makmal, meaning the Bio lab.. According to Jess, it's like our "default class". Meaning that it's our class when other classes want to use it. Then only do we use THEIR class. Funkification.) was feeling quite depressed for some reason. Gloria was sitting opposite me and asked "Oh no Su-lyn, did i just ruin your mood?" and i just shook my head. Something drove me to the point of insanity in which i replied "I figured that if i'm coughing like thins (seriously, my side and chest hurted soo badly), means that someone wants me dead." So if that's going to happen, why not just kill me and be done with it already?! But seriously, it wasn't her fault. I don't even know what was wrong with me. Then when i came home and sat down hugging Bara (My heart-shaped pillow given by Winnie) with my music blasting over the computer, i don't know what made me do it, but i went blog-surfing. Seriously. Visited some of long-lost friends, visited some by my close friends, people i know by face but not otherwise, etc etc.. Hey, if its public, then i'll read it under these circumstances. I know i was supposed to be doing my BM tuition homework, but seriously, my emo-ness went on overdrive and so my priorities went haywire.
I read so many blogs by so many people over the time period of about an hour. They're all so different. Happy, sad, enthusiastic, lifeless, dying, living, crazy, normal, romantic, cynical, obscene, beautiful. After all that i just sat in front of the computer, the bland wallpaper staring back at me. Just sat there, reflecting. Thinking. When i first turned on the computer, i felt like all the crap was always happening to me. How screwed up my life was. How difficult everything was. But then i noticed that its not all about me.. There are so many people, soo many places, so many things happening. I should stop just looking at myself and hating every moment (at times i do) and think of how much better off i am when compared to so many others. Will sign back in and probably give along list with a long list of something... But as of now, i have tuition to go to.. Take care people. And remember to live life while you can darlings.
Hugs and smiles,
~LynNie
1:06 AM Z
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
.|...:: Obsessive, compulsive ::...|.
Date: 21st June 2006
Mood: Considerably happy
Music: Savin' me, Nickelback
Word i've been addicted to: Funkification.
Well, basically i've been adding '-fication' to the words i've been saying.. Yes, i know i'm weird. At least i'm happy weird, not dark and depressive. Haha.. Today is a Wednesday.. Had no PE as Puan Ernice went out of the school for some sports thing. Kind of freaked, considering the fact that i wore my PE clothes to school. So i admit it. I don't start going on a killing spree just because PE got cancelled, but let's just say it's one of the reasons i was able to drag myself out of bed this morning. Oh, and yesterday morning, was super smiley because i woke up to the sound of raindrops falling onto the roof. I mean, only God can send me a symphony on an otherwise crappy morning. Well yes, i had to sit in the Bio lab for four periods. My missed PE lesson AND two periods of Moral... Goodness, was bored out of my mind. Puan Lee is a nice lady, but frankly, she can't teach. She just bores her class with more and more reasons why we shouldn't eat watermelon and honeydew and ciku and so on.. I love honeydew, by the way.. You get my point.. Then recess was the usual hanging out with the same bunch of people, Winnie poisoning my nose again.. xD [For those who don't know, between me, Win, Mia, JA, it's considered poisoning if any one of us pokes someone's nose.. I have no idea why..] After that, classes as usual.. Estee and i were chatting when i conveniently dug out some interesting info from her. And to my dear Estee, thanks for understanding and comforting me even if i was quite fine then. Oh yes, and congrats to Jit Yang, Yong Ming and Chow Ping on winning the inter-class debate for the topic "Money is better than love".. Even with such a difficult topic, i applaud you guys for winning over the Angsana people. *claps*
Anyhow, here's a little bit of ranting from yours truly. Just have to get this off my chest..
Obsessive, compulsive;
Have you ever had this thing that's always on your mind? Not for the moment, not even for just most of your time. It's constantly. You want to yell it out, scream at the top of your lungs, smile like a happy idiot.. but you can't tell anyone about it? Not because it's a bad thing, just because. It excites, motivates, infatuates.. It's not love, it's not even a crush. Something that usually doesn't come along or happen on any other day.. It hits you like a ton of bricks. Big, heavy, red, solid bricks. The funny thing is, you LIKE getting hit by that ton of bricks. When you're down, it brightens up your day. When you're happy, it makes you swell up on the inside even more. When you're discouraged, you think of how it'd make things different for you, and things do get better. And when it feels like you're down in the dumps, just a glance or a thought can send you back onto your feet. When you think you're doing great, you'd think of it and push yourself even further.. It gives you the drive for that extra mile.. To exceed expectations.. When you're insecure, you know that it'd be there to back you up. At least at certain times.. When you think of it, it just strikes this chord of familiarity, of norm and yet of diversity and potential. It's like a warm, fluffy, and comfortable pillow that not only provides warmth, comfort, security, but also comfort and inevitably happiness. A smile, a scent, a voice, a laugh, a personality.You probably won't even read this. You don't need to know it's you i'm talking about. You don't need to change how we are, you don't have to treat me any different. You don't have to think it's you i'm talking about, you don't have to say you know it is. Just know that i appreciate you and really look up to you, and hope you'll always be here.. and that this weird and yet comfortable, little relationship between us never fades.
Okie dokie, i'm done here.. About the ranting above, hit back to me if you know what i mean. Lolz... It's just an expression of how i feel la.. One of the many reasons why i'm able to keep smilling, how i can accept extreme change, where i get my strength to face the tough situations, why i don't fall back into my old bad habits. Sorry if anyone's confused here, i think most of you will be.. So just think about what i said about school and not about obsessive, compulsive la... Hee hee, have a nice day!! It's raining here so i'm pretty happy.. =]
See you, sweethearts!
Huggies,
~LynNie
11:56 PM Z
Monday, June 19, 2006
.|...:: The lil wedding imp ::...|.
Date: 19th June 2006
Mood: Alright, i guess..
Music: Say something, Mariah Carey ft. Snoop Dogg
*Jumps in* Booyaz, the lil imp is here!!.. Lolz.. Nono, i haven't gotten married yet, and rest assured.. there is no poor guy who is tied to me forever and ever end ever... yet.. XD Bwahahaha... But seriously. It was the wedding reception for Uncle Tovee and Aunty Lee Ling on Saturday night.. Wait wait wait... Rewind.. back to the morning.. Day started off with Taekwondoe, was kinda tortured because i haven't been going for quite some time now.. I was amazed at how few people there were at the beginning of the calss (9 a.m) and then they grew and grew in number.. Another thing is.. the number of black belt-ers seems to be increasing.. However, quality-wise, i'm not so sure.. *coughcough* Hmm... Anyhow, Sir Ben took the poom + black belt-ers, so we were basically drained of all energy . By saying that, i'm just trying to make it sound nice, just so you guys know..
Class ended at 11, i went home. Was supposed to b ein church at 2 for guitar classes, but when i got home, dad seemed to be in a foul mood. For SOME unacknowledged reason. So he was asking me about my itenary for the day and so i told him..
2 p.m :Guitar
4 p.m : 365 Youth meeting
6 p.m : Head home
by 7: Reach COBRA clubhouse for wedding
Reaction? He freaked.. Wondered HOW i was going to gte there on time, who was going to send me, who was going to pick me, etc, etc.... And then out of the blue scolded me when i mentioned thta mum was picking me from the house to the COBRA clubhouse [Combined Old Boys Rugby Association].. Was like "Your mother has been working since this morning with the tea ceremony and you want her to come down and pick you, go back to the clubhouse, yadda yadda??!!" I merely replied "That's what she proposed.." [Besides, i was oblivious that the tea ceremony was in MELAKA.. You expect me to figure that one out? I figured they'd do it in the house in KL!!] So then i called mummy and told her that it was insane that she came and picked me from the house after Youth and that i'd get the driver to do all the sending, picking.. I mean, that's what drivers are for, for goodness sake.. [Yes i know, up to know, i'm sounding like a serious spoilt-kid] But the dude hasn't been working for practically the whole week since my mum decided to be nice and give him pretty much an entire week of break.. so it's quite fair that he does Saturday. So i called him up, he said that it was alright, then i told dad the change of plan. This time, he was even madder and asked me how i expected to be at the wedding at 7 when youth finishes at 6.. I was looking at him with this expression that said "How can you NOT get it??" .. You don't need Schumacher to get from Subang Jaya to COBRA, la dude.. I was about to comment, then realised that it'd be better if i just let it slip.. So i just sighed and went "MMM." He figured that it was a new way that teenagers justified and retaliated "Don't justify! You think of the time and be more matured in your thinking!!" Seriousness... I was going to start yelling at him there and probably check if his brain cells had rotten away or something. Like if you're so angry, and you pity mummy so much, why don't you help her out, or wait... SEND ME??Many many retorts were jumping into my head.. But nooo, i just walked upstairs, a huge fake smile plastered on my face.. That seemed to piss him off even more.. *Sigh* I can't seem to do anything right.. Anyhow, i figured that the entire Yeang household would be suffering from my dad's wrath if i didn't make him happy, so i sacrificed my usual 4-hours of bliss and sat at home, locked in my room. That was fine with him, but didn't make him happy.. Because when we were all getting ready to go to the clubhouse at 4-ish, he was all sarcastic and pessimistic. When my mum asked how she looked in this pair of pants and a lacey-thing of a bluse, which i thought she looked nice in, daddy darling immediately stated "Fat".. [Its futile for me to even try to explain that it was only that way because the band of stitching of the particular top was close to chest level, resembling a pragnant woman's outfit..] and then when she put on my brown skirt and a black shirt, he immediately replied "now you look like a peasant".. !!!!! .. Yes, the same mum who was working the entire day helping the people out at the tea ceremony and preparing apples and stuff for the dinner that night. I was so seriously sick of him telling us that we just couldn't tell the truth that i just walked out of the room and yet again, locked myself in the peace of my room. Goodness, men!! So i fugured that since it was a non-formal wedding, i'd just wear my jeans and a blue spagetti top. No fuss, and it'd ensure that i wouldn't be sweating like crazy since the reception was held outside. Then about half an hour later when i figured that the coast was clear, i came out.. Wrong timing.. I got a "is THAT what you're wearing?!" So i sighed and walked back into my room. "Fine, i'll change." I got another blow. "So sensitive! I didn't say you couldn't wear it!!" Whatever la, dude.. I wasn't even bothered about what anyone said anyway, i thought i looked nice.
When we finally got to the clubhouse, as usual, early; before ayone else came.. Rearranged the tables, put out the apples [with eyes, noses, and mouths saying "Thank you"] on the tables, took out the beer, figured the wine and put the candles with the ornaments on each table.. Went to the Hilton hotel nearby as mum was helping to do the bride's makeup.. Me? I went for a snooze.. Hmmm.... the wedding reception was alright, i guess.. Most of the time was hanging out with Xiao Ly, and most of the time we were eating because there was nothing else to do. XD Was laughing my head off when Unlce Boon Kee [Godfather] was joking about how he was courting Godma for 35 years before they finally got married. Chasing Aun and Kai Ning around.. Cute kids always lift my mood. Oh, and i had two ais kacang.. Gluttony, right? No la.. They were two small ones.. Ah yes, and i noticed that all the waiters were super young dudes.. Which makes me thankful that i don't have to work at my age.. Hmm... alright.. at the end, was going to burst into laughter at how red Uncle Tovee's face was, how he couldn't seem to open his eyes, and how Aunty Lee Ling had to support him when they ushered guests who were going home.. Was running away from him so he coudn't give me an ang pau for helping out. It's their wedding, for goodness sake. Hugs from the bride and groom accepted, though. So yes, we all went home. Didn't get much sleep, but was pretty happy the next morning during service. May explain in more detail next time, but as for now my dear readers, i have to go for my BM tuition. Take care, remember not to eat just to pass the time away or you may end up with a bad tummyache!!
PS: Don't get me wrong ya, i love my dad, but at times i just have to express my disagreement , frustration and plain confusion.
Hugs and smiles,
~LynNie
1:29 AM Z
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
.|...:: A person whom i admire ::...|.
~ * The rose in my life, my one and only mummy ! * ~
Date: 15th June 2006
Mood: Neutral
Music: Say Goodnight, The Click Five
As promised, here is my essay for the English mid-term paper.. Here goes..
Nama: Yeang Su-lyn
Tingkatan: 4 Cempaka
Tarikh:18/5/2006
Mata Pelajaran: English 1
Angka Giliran:39
Section B: Continuous Writing
Question 1: A person whom i admire
In this world, where modernisation and technology are at their peak, there are so many people to look up to. Those who have changed our lives, for the better or for the worse, those who inspire us by their achievements, those who have us nodding our heads vigorously merely at their ideas. As k anyone on the streets or at the mall, who their idols are and I'm certain that the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Tom Cruise, President Bush, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and so on are the pick of the majority. As for me however, the person whom i admire the most is a little closer to home. As a matter of fact, she is the very foundation of my home.
Borm on the 22nd of April 1957, Nancy Woo Lai Cheng is in fact, my biological mother. Growing up on the Penang Island was quite tough for my mother as she didn't come from a rich family. She got her education in Penang's Methodist Girls School then began work at an early age. Her only sister suffered from Polio and has needed the aid of a wheelchair since. My mother's first job was at Sony, where she made sure that the advertising was done well. Later on, she moved on to the Japan-based cosmetic company, Shiseido. With her financial stability, i admire the fact that my mother has always supported my aunt despite my aunt's disability.
If i were more like my mother, i would be winning all the 'Student of The Year' awards. Her job as a training manager requires her to fly off to various countries in the Asia-Pacific region. Not to mention the fact that the materiasl used to train the Shiseido Beauty Consultants have to be prepared by her too. Never wanting to bore her students, my mother always tries to make her lessons as interesting as possible and always comes up with creative, innovative and effective solutions. But the fact is that despite her tight schedule of flying from country to country and preparing the materials for her next trip, she has not once given up. My mother is such a fighter that she never succumbs to stree and gives her work a hundred percent even when dark circles form around her eyes. This on going passion and enthusiasm for what she does is probably what makes her such an excellent worker.
As a wife, my mother is no desperate housewife. There have been many occasions in which my family has joked that my dad would be so lost without my mother, which is true. Undeniably, my parents support each other in ways that spouses ideally should. However, my mother is amazing when it comes to dealing with my hot-tempered father. Personally, i am an extrovert when it comes to dealing with issues involving people whom i am close to. Meaning, i am the one who speaks my mind and confronts the person with the issue. My mother does that too, but imagine the havoc if she never gave in. In some strange i-know-my-husband-too-well way, my mother has solved many family issues as she knows when to keep quiet and when to voice her opinion.
The part of my mother that i admire the most is not the fact that i am linked to her genetically. No, that would be silly. But seriously, my mother is not just someone who brought me into this world, but she is also a friend. I am always blessed with the sense of security that no matter what, my mother will always be there for me. You could say that we share a very close mother-daughter relationship. Aside from religious and academic institutions, my mother is my greatest teacher. I am always eager to listen and learn from her pearls of wisdom, which somehow, are always applicable in various situations or problems i face. My pillar of strength believes in not turning me into an overprotected child so, that despite the fact that when i make mistakes i will definitely hurt myself, but through these first-hand experiences, i can learn and grow so much more than if i were to just listen to long lectures on what to do or what not to do.
A brilliant friend once told me that friends are like flowers. At the beginning, they are so new, fresh, and beautiful. As time passes, they start to grow dull but are not thrown away. Instead, they are pressed and kept lovingly in the pages of our lives so that we can keep them close, bask in the memories and savour the powerful fragrance they have brought into our lives. As for my mother, she's a true rose; a friend, companion, teacher that has, as it were, made my garden of life smell so much sweeter.
-
Okie, that's all.. Geez, was so frustrated when the electricity in my house went out when i was almost done with typing this out.. So yes, this is the second time i had to type it out. Well, its fine. I guess its worth it.. Yeah.. the words in pink are somewhat part of the quote from Winnie on the birthday present she gave me on my 14th birthday. So yes, i'm not a genius to be able to take credit for that quotation. I just modified it to suit my essay. Well, i'm putting the one that Winnie wrote to give the brilliant one credit and.. well, just because i feel like it. =]
~Friendship is like a well-tended rose; it blossoms gently, flourishes under great and tender care, and after it has withered, it is never thrown away, but instead, pressed lovingly between the pages of our lives, ready to be fondly thought of whenever needed ~ [Winnie F.. 2004]
Yups, so i'm pretty much done here. Hope you enjoyed that, my sweethearts!
Hugs and smiles,
~LynNie
11:41 PM Z
.|...:: Little kids ::...|.
Date: 14th June 2006Mood: Alright, i guessMusic: Unbelievable, Kaci BrownWell, this happened yesterday.. When i was feeling all crappy after the last post here, i turned off the com and went downstairs, fiding my dad who was pissed off for no particular reason.. I don't know... So before i'd start crying or something, i just walked upstairs again.. But i knew that if i stayed upstairs, i'd get into way more trouble.. Hence, i wandered aimlessly downstairs.. Then when i decided to go out for a walk, i found my dad playing with my neighbour's children. Jonathan and Jeremy are always such a joy to have around.. I mean, they're both not even in primary school and are so adorable. Running around in my garden, chasing after my dog and singing some song from Barney.. And guess what? My dad was happy. Not grumpy or anything. Happy. I guess little children just do that to people la.. I guess that their innocence, cuteness, and hyperactivity is so refreshing when you're grown up. You just look at them and see no cares, you feel their radience and you let your worries slip from your mind. Their voices ring out in the air and as they run past, the air smells fresher. The sun seems brighter, the moon seems to reflect that same bright light. And for a few moments, time seems to turn more slowly, when you can just stand there and watch them bouncing around, big smiles plastered on their faces. And for those few moments, you feel peace and content. Just from watching. That's what little children do to me. Certain ones, at least. Not the loud and obnoxious ones. But the one that will come up to me and say "Hi, Su-lyn che che.' and give an adorable smile. *Sigh* The ones that aren't afraid of me. The ones that give me hugs.. It's decided, then.. If i never get married, i'll adopt children. =] Hahaz, i'm getting weird again.. It's a nice feeling, i guess, to be smilling again.Hugs and real smiles,~ LynNie3:40 AM Z
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
.|...:: O v e r [Part 2]::...|.
Date: Still the same day..Mood: Take a guessMusic: Guess again*Sigh* Last year.. how i wish i was back there.. No, that's just stupid of me. Whatever. I guess so. Everything's different now. I want to go back to when things were simple. I don't want to be strong anymore. I just want to whine. I just want to cry. I want to be young and carefree again. The difference between being in form 3 and form 4 are so vast.. Feels like i've aged like.. what.. 4 years? Four.. "sei".. haha... how i wish i could la.. I admit it... i don't like being in form four... i don't like how my life has turned out... But i guess who else can i blame? There's only me.. Life is tricky. On one hand, God has prepared for you the road to the great and wonderful plans He has. That's the one. The rocky and slippery path. But then i guess i slipped, i rolled down the stairs, scraping my skin, bruising myself.. I'm here again, at the bottom. Feeling trashed and useless. Stupid and hopeless. No, i'm not expecting sympathy. No one else can help me up but myself. No one can pick me back up and face forward this long and dirty road. Only me. I guess that one of the many slips in life happen when you think life is so going to be great, that nothing can go wrong. That time when even time itself seemed to stop. I guess that when you're too happy, you're oblivious to the looming thunder clouds, you're oblivious to the darkness approaching. Caught up in a moment, lost in the next. Through the past few months i've changed. I'm not the Lyn i used to be anymore. Some changes for the better, some for the worse. My close friends notice the difference. Some understand why, some don't. It's okay.. I don't expect everyone to. As a matter of fact, all i can be is thankful for those who do. It's alright, i'm fine. I've been telling everyone that i'm fine, that i need to pick up the shattered pieces of myself back together and move on, get on with life. Many of my angels-of-friends have helped me do this, i thank all of you. Finally, i think i'm able to end this long and hard struggle. Alright, i'm quite a cry-baby.. I just want to cry and whine. I don't want to fight, i don't want to yell, i don't want to be angry, i don't want to have cutting sarcastic remarks, i don't want to be such a failure anymore, i don't want you to keep telling me i'm a failure, i don't want to hope, i don't want to break your hopes, i don't want to let people down when i'm down, i don't want this aching feeling, i don't want to miss you, i don't want to let you go, i don't want to be a bitch, i don't want to hurt anyone, i don't want to hate, i don't want to pretend that i'm fine, i don't want to fake my smile, i don't want to keep trying to be strong when i'm dying inside, i don't want to be lonely anymore, i don't want to keep missing you like this, i don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore, i don't want to hug my pillow wishing it was something else, i don't want to breathe in a scent that makes me feel hollow, i don't want to hear a voice and turn the other way, i don't want to hear a laugh and know that it wasn't because of me, i don't want to plan my every move so we won't collide, i don't want to make your life difficult. But like you said, you don't care about what i want. It's alright, i don't expect you to. But as an end, i'm sorry. There's nothing that i did that wasn't right, there nothing that i tried to do. I'm tired of all this, i'm weary.. Enough is enough.. So i guess this is goodbye. Like i said. I know you'll be happy, i know you won't miss me. It's fine, i'm glad that you're happy. Really. After all the hell you've been through, you deserve it. So goodbye, i guess. Goodbye..."I can never be your Prince.Mybe you could not understand,From the day you told me you love meAll the stars in my sky began to sparkle.I am willing to be, i want to be, i will be,The angel in the fairytale which you love.Spreading my arms,Turning into wings to keep you safe,You must believeBelieve that our love will be like love in the fairytale,Where we will live happily ever after" ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~Here we are again,Fighting once more,And i don't even know why,Why we are,Why we do.It's like a ritual of pain, A schedule of hurt,No matter what i say,No matter what i do,No matter how hard i try,It ends up as this.Here we are again,Fighting once more,And i don'r even know why,Why we are,Why we do,Why this won't end.I guess it's just me,The problem,The constant pain,Perhaps it's an actual fact that i can never be loved,Never was meant to be,Never could be,Never should be.Standing next to you i feel dull,Next to your rays of goodness,Things i can never be,Expectations i could never live up to,I'm just useless, meaningless,I don't deserve this,It's like giving a child a beautiful glass sculpture,So beautiful, so perfect, so enchanting.But put into my hands, All i'll do is drop you,Over and over again,Tirelessly, effortlessly, you slip through my fingers,though i try to catch you, reflexes fail me, Fault and guilt consumes me.I may feel all these, You may say at least i have a conscience,But in the end,You're the one who suffers, Fractured, shattered, utterly broken.I'm sorry i can't take care of you,I'm sorry I'm not as sensitive as i ought to be.But as a child loves glittery, perfectly shaped sculptures,In the same way i do love you,With all my mind and sould could ever love,But in the exact same manner,All i'll do is make you more broken,All i'll do is overlook your fragile being,Overdo my foolishness and clumsiness.So I'll grow up a little,I'll think of others for a change,I'll set my precious glass sculpture on a shelf,And hope that someone more delicate and caring,Sensitive and loves you as much as i do,Would come and find you,Pick you up and cheer you,Take care of you,In the ways i never could.That's it, i guess.. Bye.
"The best love stories are never happy" {The Footstool Players}~LynNie3:35 AM Z
.|...:: School again [Part 1] ::...|.
Date: 13th June 2006Mood: I have no ideaMusic: Salt and Light, SalvadorWell, its back to school again.. Now that the lower six-es have come in, the first three form four classes have to float. Brilliant, i'm ecstatic.. Alright... I'm in too neutral a mood to be sarcastic.. Hmm... i don't really like being in a class that float, but i guess that someone's got to do it, right? And i guess the school wants to make a good impression to the new students from other schools. That's just my opinion, however.. Monday was alright, i guess... Getting used to having to get out of a class at the end of every subject. Not used to not being able to just sit around comfortably.. Now i understand how the Form 4s felt when they invaded my class so rudely last year.. - continued in next post
2:32 AM Z
Friday, June 09, 2006
.|...:: Food for thought ::...|.
~* Be the salt and light unto the world *~Date:9th June 2006Music: Broken, Seether and Amy LeeMood: *raises eyebrows* nuff said.Hey, peeps, LynNie is here yet again. Okay, i admit... i have no life-changing, gastronomical news for you, but i'm just here. Have been sleeping alot lately, and watching loads of movies. Hahaz, i'm just weird, and lethergic, wishing that i have another week of holidays.. But reality bites, and school starts again on Monday.. But anyway, i've been thinking.. Humans are weird beings... I mean, aside from being the great supreme beings above-all-else on Earth, we're strange. Psychologically speaking la. [That was a big word, but i don't even know if i spelt it right.] One thing. We believe what we want to believe. Not touching religion, just at the surface. What happens around us, what we do. Do you notice it? Despite what others say, despite several efforts and so on, we keep to what we want to believe, what we percieve as truth. Humans are naturally thick-skinned, hard-headed, so i don't blame us, i guess.. But think about it.. Are you currently so blinded by what you think is truth until all else seems so hard to accept though its staring at you in the face? Take some time to ponder.. Because i noticed, I'm like that. Or i could just be being weird again.
Oh, here's another quotation i liked when i was watching my fave doctor at work [if he even takes it as work. XD] Dr. Wilson:At least i tryDr. Greg House: Well, as long as yo're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.Dr. Greg House: So between us we cn do anything. We can rule the world!!Lolz.. Rushing off to tuition now, my dear readers... Take care!Hugs and smiles,~LynNie12:51 AM Z
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
.|...:: Over the hedge ::...|.
Date: 8th June 2006
Music: No worries, Simon Webbe
Didn't do much yesterday, except finish "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown yesterday. That was one good book, though in my opinion, it dragged on for quite some time. When i thought it was going to end, it didn't. Just went on and on... Not that its something to complain about, though..
[RJ and Hammy]
Went to watch "Over the hedge" with the grils from my cell. Movie was at 7:30, Sue Min's amazing driving skills got us there 5 minutes before that. Gals included Jess, Jac, Grace, Ashley, Laura, Marcia, Jen Li, Sue Min and me!! Well, i loved the show, it was so adorable, and of course, my favourite character was Hammy!! Hyperactivity and blurness is such an excellent mix, don't you think? I'd recommend this show to anyone. And i am, now. So go watch this!! Now, now, NOW, people!!!! xD Okay... no caffeine for the crazy people.. But me and Jess finished an entire box of popcorn [or rather I went and ate everything, i think. Bwahahahahahaha... *choke* ]Yes, I'm a wee bit hyper. Thanks to Sue Min and Grace for arranging as well as providing transport and company.
Came home and watched some Steven Segal movie with my dad and bro. One word. Profanity. Another word. Predicatble. Went to bed at 12 or so..
Really, I don't have much to report here, but just checking in to ensure you guys that I'm still alive. Feeling much better, though my cough comes and goes. Have to go shopping soon, 'cause there are so many people celebrating their birthdays this month. Imagine, TWO cell girls in a month.. I'm so gonna be broke.. xD But anyhow, I'm rambling here.. Better go before i hurt someone. Bon voyage, my lovely readers!!
Hugs, smiles and a sugar-high,
~LynNie.
11:46 PM Z
Friday, June 02, 2006
.|...:: S.I.C.K ::...|.
Date: 3rd June 2006Music: Just the way i am, Skye Sweetnam *Coughcoughsniffsniff* Argh.. I'm still so sick.. But not as bad as how i was yesterday..In the morning, went to the clinic for yet another set of medicine.. Had brunch in Section 17, met Pn. Khoo and Mr. Lim from SK Taman Megah.. Quite scary to meet ex-school teachers.. Watched the Da Vince code on DVD.. Wasn't as good as i hoped it'd be, but what can you expect when a movie is made out of a book that gets its kicks from the suspense that keeps you at the edge of your seat, hands gripping at the paperback? In short, i guess the movie was way too fast, and altered at certain places. When i went for Chem tuition, Eel kept asking me if i was alright. Couldn't stop coughing and my hands were shaking from taking Volmax [for the cough].. Was so relieved when tuition ended, just wanted to go home and sleep. Mummy bought the inhalers Bricanyl and Pulmicort for me so i could get a decent night of sleep, not heaving my lungs out.. My goodness... I've got absolutely nothing to say to the extent that I'm describing my prescriptions.. So I'll just throw something extra in here before getting out of here.."Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up
Dr. House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking thmselves.. It's not gonna happen"
[Facts of life, brought to you by Dr. Gregory House]
So true, isn't it?.. xD
Though shaky-handed and relatively moody, I remain your faithful blogger. Take care, my lovely readers. Hope none of you are as sick as i am.
Hugs and smiles,
~LynNie
9:14 PM Z
[LynNie-fication]
-Welcome to the realm of LynNie's
unending ramblings, thoughts,
sarcastic remarks, but most
importantly, memories. Not all
great, not all gastronomical and
Earth-moving, but memories nonetheless.
The life of a girl, her hyperness, her
emo-ness, her loves, her dislikes.
Her views, her ups, her downs. All
treasured, remembered, and most importantly,
It's 100% ..
{L y n N i e - f i c a t i o n} !!!!
-Enjoy your stay, and please leave comments
if you wish. =]
Date: 30th June 2006
Date: 21st June 2006
Date: 19th June 2006
